A nice man; but a lousy father

I know of a very nice man who is very compassionate, kind and helpful. But, would you be surprised if I tell you he is a very lousy father? When it comes to fathering matters, he is simply clueless and principleless. He thinks he loves his children, but both his children are spoilt to the core. And he simply continues to spoil them by giving them what they continually ask for.

Can you imagine, his son at age 10 already owned one brand new desktop PC, one brand new Notebook PC and one brand new PSP and many other gadgets? The son does not like studies but likes to hang around outside and gets heavily addicted to cybergaming. He can play for 12 hours in a cybergame shop non-stop. That is the depth of his addiction. So, the father bought a desktop PC for the son and told him to play the games at home. So, the son was happy with that but kept the promise for hardly a week. He started going back to the cybergame shop again, complaining that his desktop PC does not have certain games. So, he got back to the game shop. After a while, I was surprised that the father bought him a brand new Notebook PC. So, he started staying at home again. But, for just two weeks, the son is back to the gameshop again.

At the premises of the cybergame shop, the son had met with a few incidents and accidents that involved bodily injury and ambulance was even called in. Each time, the father would scold the son very intensely, "Don't come here anymore lah! Stay at home lah!". But, such instruction was always effective for just a few days. After that, the son would be back to where he was.

One day, the son was cycling to school and along the way, he was involved with a hit-and-run accident with another adult cyclist. The boy was knocked down, he fell into the drain and the forearm was injured and bandaged. The father scolded the son, "Don't cycle anymore lah!". The father sold away the bicycle for S$30. I thought that was a good and decisive move. But, I was utterly surprised to learn that a few weeks later, he bought another new bicycle for the son again.

A couple of years ago, he told the son, "If you pass your exams, we would go to Australia for holidays." That was certainly a good carrot to dangle to encourage the son to do well. But, guess what? The son failed his exams and still went for the Aussie holidays. These are just a few of the numerous incidents that involved this father and his son.

I feel sorry for this father. He seems to be habitually manipulated and exploited by his son and he is not doing anything positive to change the situation. This is a classic case of love without wisdom and principles.